Once you pop, you can't stop

MAN EATS TOO MANY POTATO CHIPS, ENDS UP IN REHAB

Malibu, CA - Reuben Shoals of Branson, MO has been checked into rehab after family and friends intervened on his life threatening habit.

Pringles are the addiction of Shoals, says his mother.  "It's those promises they make.  Once you pop.  Well, he's not popping anymore and we can thank Pringles for ruining our lives," his mother angrily spoke to our reporters outside of the Betty Ford Clinic in Malibu, Ca.

Pringles have been known for some of their quotes, which are not unlike other potato chip companies like Frito-Lay who claims, "You can't eat just one."  The promise of the Pringle is, "Once you pop, you can't stop."  This promise has sent Shoals into a 3 month minimum stint at the clinic.

Shoals wasn't available for comment on Tuesday as reporters waited outside of the front door at the Betty Ford Center.

Pringles released this statement in a press conference.  "We are concerned with the well being of Ruban.  We want him to know that we appreciate him as a customer and stand by our product 100%.  Our once you pop phrase is just a slogan. It's not something we expect to work.  We do hope that Ruban and his entire family make it through this hardship."

The Shoals family are in talks with their attorney and are thinking of filing a motion against Pringles, claiming they put addictive substances in their potato chips to fulfill their promise of never stopping, after popping.

fight global warming with air conditioning

link found here:

www.tomorrowsnewshappenstoday.com/global_warming/cool

GROUP SETS OUT TO FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING

A few hundred advocates attempting to educate the public on the effects of global warming are taking a new stand today, calling it, "Project Cool Earth."

"We are all aware that we're at fault for global warming and it's not just some natural climate change. It's the fault of humans and we're taking responsibility for our actions."

The group plans on cooling the earth by placing 250 portable air conditioners outside of their homes. This, they feel, will help get some cold air back into the atmosphere.

"If everyone would join us, the polar ice caps wouldn't be melting. It wouldn't take long for us to reverse the effects of global warming. And right when we're at the perfect temperature, we'll turn our AC's to a comfortable level."

A science professor from the community college had some input, "These people obviously don't quite understand how the earth works. We don't have a thermostat for the worlds temperature. I understand what they're trying to get at and they are in the right place, but this is a little absurd."

The group didn't take kindly to the professor's words, but they haven't been deterred from their mission. They plan on turning the thermostat to "max cool" on Friday night at 10:41 PM as the 'Global Cooling' party commences.

"The only change they'll see is that of their electric bill, which by the way, also causes global warming and of course, is a waste of energy."

90 year old man is more popular than me on myspace

Link found here:

www.seniorcitizenmonthly.com/myspacedotcom/charlie

MAN, 90 YEARS OLD, LOOKING FOR TRUE LOVE ON MYSPACE.COM

Myspace.com, innovator of online communication and an online social network that caters mainly to teens, will open an exclusive friends site solely for senior citizens.

That's good news to ninety-year-old Charlie Powers who is tired of being alone. He's been to all the dating websites, including, eharmony.com, perfectmatch.com and the original myspace.com, but he's ready to find true love. Charlie says he's ready to dump his myspace account, which has 14,394 friends, all females and none of which are his soul mate.

"I'm sick, and I'm tired of getting comments about how sexy I look. I want a real person, not someone who tells me I've won a $500 gift card for a Coach bag," a frustrated Powers tells us, as he shows us his impressive friends list.

Powers, a widower since 1993, is ready to remarry. With his whole life ahead of him, he wants to spend it with someone special. "I'm very excited to meet women who are looking for the same thing," said Powers as he angrily gestures at myspace.com on his open browser.

Myspace declined to make an official comment, but a spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said to look for a senior citizens site to open in the coming months.

Powers says that information is music to his ears and that the site can't come soon enough to suit him.

Man bets life savings and loses... blames psychic

Link found here:

www.miamibeachtimes.com/strangenews/psychic_tells_tall_tail/money

FLORIDA PSYCHIC PREDICTS FORTUNE, MAN LOSES SHIRT

Chester Barron of Miami Beach, FL has filed a lawsuit Monday, against Madame Ruby, a well-known local psychic.

According to Barron's lawyer, David Ipstein, Madame Ruby, gave Barron what she described as a "hot tip" to help him in Las Vegas during a weekend trip. She advised him to bet on double zero, a number found the on the American Roulette wheel. After landing in Las Vegas, Barron went to the Bellagio Resort and Casino and headed for the Roulette wheel. He believed Ruby's tip was so reliable that he bet his entire life savings on double zero. He lost the bet, is nearly bankrupt and faces a possible foreclosure of his Miami home.

Ruby will be representing herself in the lawsuit, claiming that she gave Barron the correct information, but that her client didn't follow her orders exactly. "I see no reason to give my money to a lawyer when I can see in the near future, that I will win this case," Ruby said with confidence.

Barron is distraught and furious at Ruby. "I have had numerous readings from her and not once has she been wrong. In one of her readings, she told me that I had a father who passed away, and it was true. How can I not trust someone who knows that my father passed away before even meeting me?"

We caught up with some of Ruby's clients but only one would speak about the psychic on the record. "This guy is an idiot for betting everything he owned. I mean, I believe that Madame Ruby knew the winning number, but you have to have perfect timing. Maybe the number was meant to hit right before or after he bet. Ruby is no liar and I will continue getting advice on my love life and success as long as she's willing to give it."

Barron is suing Madame Ruby for $400K which includes the lost bet, his flight, the hotel stay and $137 for room incidentals.

I'm disgusted by this article

Link found here:
www.louisvillegazette.com/adoption_angers_red_heads

COUPLE GIVE UP CHILD, RED HAIR IS TO BLAME

Louisville, KY - After four years of trying to have children, Fred and Linda Gross finally conceived, only to give up the child for adoption. The reason for this would surprise most people. The baby was given up because, he had red hair. "I hate red hair," said Fred Gross after we asked him why he gave up his first and only child.

Fred and his wife had discussed having children many times over the years. However, both of them also hate redheads and agreed that if their own baby had red hair, he or she would be put up for adoption.

"Fred's grandmother had red hair and Fred has freckles, so we thought there could be a chance of a redhead. We had always agreed though, if we do have a fire head, then we would give it up. We just really find redheads unattractive," Linda tells us.

Next door to the Gross' house is an irritated neighbor, with whom we had a chance to speak.

"They should be thrown in jail, the both of them. They've been wanting a child for years now and God gives them one and they throw it away. They should be electrocuted."

Unfortunately, there is no law that prohibits parents from giving up their children through the adoption process. A parent can give up their children for any reason, even if they don't like the color of the child's hair.

Grubstreet is sorry...

I haven't been able to post any new articles in the last few days, but I'm now back. I just found that funny article about kids getting high on vitamins... I have no idea what the science is behind that one.

 

Anyway, I just wanted you to rest assure that I am still scanning the internet daily for odd news stories.

I apologize for my absence, but I'll have a new story up by tomorrow, not including the latest found just moments ago.

Grubstreet

Kids are getting high on flintstones vitamins....

Link found here:

www.usdailyinternetnews.com/article_flintstones

Flintstones vitamins become euphoric amongst students

A new drug is spreading like wild fire throughout high schools in the US. The drug; Flintstones vitamins. Street name for the new teen sensation, "royal rubbles," is flowing through schools and hooking victims of all ages.

Stores across the nation are no longer selling the vitamins to kids under 18, and when buying the pills, one must now have a valid drivers license scanned at the pharmacy before purchasing.

After talking to several students from a California high school, we found out more information on the drug and it's effects.

"It's like, you know when you feel really, really good and you don't know why you feel that way? That's what it's like," a 15 year old sophomore told us.

Parents are upset about the new wave and are teaming up with school officials in attempts to wipe out the drug in schools.

Spokeswoman for the local charter, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) had worry on her face when we asked what was to be done about kids getting high on these pills. "We are very concerned and are doing everything in our power to deter kids away from these pills. Most kids who take them, do not know how dangerous it really is. It impacts decision making, kills brain cells, and can lead to cardiac arrest if taken during physical activity. We're doing our best to educate kids and parents and we're also getting DARE involved in school rallies to raise awareness."

A senior at the same high school explained how the drug is taken, "When you mix the Barney, Bambam and Wilma, then chew and swallow them at the same time, you get this great high."

Because it's getting harder to obtain the pills, students are paying up to $3 for the Barney, Bambam and Wilma concoction.

One arrest has been made since the popularity of the drug has increased. Although we can't mention the name because the student is a minor, we can say that he's been caught with over 400 bambam flintstones pills in his locker.